Skip to content
August 2, 2013 / bloggenstatt

Perusing and Choosing the best of The Billboard Hot 100

I’m issuing binary reactions to the Billboard Hot 100 for the week of August 10. I only managed to scrounge up two songs that could be described as dope, but found three  songs that suggest human art is in a downward spiral of regression, or at least make me say nope.

1. Miley Cyrus- “We Can’t Stop” No. 3 on Billboard’s Hot 100.

At almost  4 minutes long “We Can’t stop” is a behemoth of a Mike WiLL Made It production. It has become a monster hit thanks in equal parts to it’s crowd-pleasing, Rhianna-aping sound and its Harmony Korine-lite music video. Twerk-hype aside, the song itself seems to be an amalgamation of every recent strip-club anthem smash hit. Ultimately, this song is like a an exact Styrofoam replica of  the Pyramids: an enormous, insubstantial and ultimately unnecessary facsimile of something might actually like. Am I won over by a weird for the sake of weird music video? NOPE 

2. Imagine Dragons-“Radioactive” No. 4 on Billboard’s Hot 100.

Imagine Dragons are on an extremely successful run, and their album “Night Visions” is certified platinum. This Las Vegas band dares you to ask yourself one question. That question is do I need Dubstep in my Prog Folk? The answer is a resounding Nope.

3.Ke$ha Feat. or Juicy J- “Crazy Kids” No.43 on Billboard’s Hot 100

I can never gauge Ke$ha’s level of sincerity. She seems pretty dedicated to her brand of bubblegum pop nihilism, but she also regularly displays phenomenal taste.  In “Crazy Kids” Ke$ha approximates something resembling The Pixies loud-quiet-loud formula, but with way more 808’s and rapping. “Crazy Kids” is also an homage to “Real Wild Child” by Ke$ha’s hero and collaborator, Iggy Pop.She also displays something resembling vocal restraint and Auto-tune seems kept to a minimum, This song exceeded my admittedly low expectations, and that is DOPE.

4. The Lumineers- “Ho Hey” No. 47 on Billboard’s Hot 100

This song has been on The Billboard Hot 100 for 60 weeks. During that time it has been featured in a Blue Moon commercial and inspired the incredible Harry Caray-infused remix above, but the greatness of “Ho Hey” doesn’t stop there. To top it off the pleasant stomp-clap-shout chorus of this gentle folk-rocker turns any waiting room or elevator into a mildly-agreeable campfire. DOPE.

5. Finatticz- “Don’t Drop That Thun Thun” No. 50 on Billboard’s Hot 100/ J. Dash- “Wop” No. 72 on Billboard’s Hot 100

Listening to either of these songs can almost perfectly replicate the experience of a lobotomy. The insipid chorus of either song can and will jackhammer its way into your brain rendering all thought null and void. While both songs may be, in the immortal words of J.Dash, “Hotter than a baby in a microwave,” both songs are party-rap at it’s laziest. A little research revealed that thun thun is in fact MDMA or ecstasy, which helps explain why Finnaticz counter-intuitively spend the better part of “Don’t Drop That Thun Thun” advocating dropping thun thun. “Wop” is a song that comes with its very own dance. Both songs are little more than a chorus shouted hypnotically for about 3 minutes. Both songs are completely deserving of NOPE status.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: